The purpose for creating this blog site is long gone. This site used to be an assignment for one of my courses during my Bachelor's degree studies. I had few purpose for it since then, especially after I started renting my own web server earlier this year, where I could host as many Wordpress blogs as I want. Hence I neglected this blog until now.
Recently, I had been pondering to start a blog to note down the updates I made on my MSc research, and was pondering which to use, Blogger or Wordpress. I finally decided on Blogger today. Reason being it associated with all my google apps, gmail, gvoice etc, so it's easier for me to log onto blogger by signing into one of them.
Shortly after my last post in October last year, my family lost $15k in Forex. Mostly because of a scam, where the account managers purposefully bought large lots of usd/jpy, while the market is declining rapidly, making it as if everyone had lost their money. As a matter of fact, the ate all the money.
Jessica came home to Malaysia in January. I got to see her in late January. I went to Tawau for the first time and met her relatives. I stayed at her house. Funny thing is, I planned the trip for 5 days! That was a big mistake. Should had just bought a one way ticket and buy the return when i want to return. I ended up forfeiting the return ticket and bought another, scheduled 2 days after the forfeited ticket.
Spent many pleasant times there. ate Jessica's cooking. Especially her stew of vegetables:
- Carrot
- Potato
- Celery
- Tomato
- and chicken
My cousin was born, but had heart defect, who died in late May due to kidney/liver failure, irregular pulse, and lung failure.
then April came. My family bought a rottweiler pup. It was so adorable. but she contracted parvo virus. She died a week later. That was one of the toughest week.
During that time, I was successful in using my live gomarkets account to trade silver. but this lasted only 1 week. at the end of that week, in the morning of the second week, I saw $1.3k in my account. but I lost all the same day. I further lost another $100 in the next couple of days, from buying silver.
This is all due to my greed. I just naively believed that silver will never drop, and even if it dropped, it would not fall more than $5, but I was so wrong. I know that now. During that Monday, I thought it's just going through a small retrace, but soon found out that it actually hit a strong resistance on the upper-limit of the channel that it's in.
I later bought 5 troy ounces of physical silver bullion bars at $38/oz. At the time of writing, it is now $40.23/oz. Thank God for that. Tho I think I made some mistakes here. I was so urged to buy when it reached $34/oz but I did not, and only decided to buy when it reached $36ish, but with the $1.xx spread, I ended up buying at $38/oz. It's okay still though.
On May 29, Jessica and I separated, with the reason that she couldn't tolerate me being far from her, but we got back together on July 15. That one and a half month is one of the most painful period in my life.
Day after day, I made sure I spoke with her, everyday praying feverishly for my family and my relationship with her. Was seeking God's comfort everyday, and I think, I lived through it by God's grace. I was so depressed during that moment.
So many things happened during the 3 months of April, May and June. So many undesirable things, but there are good things too, but why does these things happen? Did my family failed to be good stewards of the resources God provided to us, and so He took them back? I dont know. Maybe. or was it something else? or was it just random. Hm. Only God can reveal the answer. I hope I can learn from it and keep it in mind all the days of my life so things like these won't happen anymore.
Found out that Jessica had not finish reading the whole bible yet, which I thought she already has.
She's quick to get jealous, she thinks only for herself. I just dont understand. I loved her until i'm willing to give up my family and inheritance just to be with her. Why cant she do it.
Does she love with her emotions? cos before we separated for that period, I seem to found out that she loved with her emotions but not her decision. I mean, she did not choose to love me, but let her emotions play the part. Then she claimed that sometimes she loves me, but sometimes she doesnt. This is not love! This is emotions! Even Wini Heron blogged about this some time ago where she claimed that sometimes she feels lovey dovey, yet some times she needed to force herself to love her husband.
Then I learned from Wini about doubts from her recorded sermon.
So we're back together now, and I told her I'll go over to join her, which I dont really know if that's what I want, but still I'm willing to make that sacrifice. I kinda am confused if she's gonna be a great person to be with. Considering the way she thinks and all. Anyways, the Holy Spirit will guide me, but I could be blind towards the Holy Spirit's prompting, or perhaps I received his instructions, but chose to ignore them. Well, that's my loss. Hope this would not be the case. Lord, please help me, please help Jessica, and bless my family.
I was so jealous, so furious, when she tries to get AC to court her. She evidently had a crush on him, but no more. It's strange also that she only allowed him 1+ month. I personally might not be able to get a girl in such a short time, but it's a benefit to me for getting her back though.
All in all, I still hope God will bless my relationship with her, and thank God for this relationship. I hope and pray that this relationship will forever be grounded and rooted in Jesus Christ my God.
I'm thankful for Jessica actually, with her, she can provide my family with her nursing care, she is determined to be healthy, so no doubt I'll benefit from it, especially from the frequent biking and jogs. She's also a bubbly person, which makes it fun to be around her.
Well, that's all for now on the latest update. Consecutive updates will be mostly on my research work, but i'll also add in updates on personal life.
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